by Tracy Farr
The Problem With Men
Recently, I’ve gotten into writing a bit of poetry. I’m not sure how it started – maybe because I like to write silly songs for children – but I’m getting a kick out of it. Plus, it’s a change of pace from writing essays about goats, banjos and … goats.
Anyways, I wrote this poem during the recent oil spill incident out in the Gulf. It was inspired by the revelation that, after several weeks of BP trying to stop the leak, and failing, that a plumber may have solved the problem. Of course that got me to thinking, why didn’t they call a plumber in the first place?
The answer? Because the world is ruled by men. Men don’t ask for help. At the first sign of a leak, a woman would have called a pro.
The Problem with Men
The problem with men is we don't ask for help.
I know this for certain, I'm one of the lot.
When losing our way in a foreign location,
We won't ask directions no matter the cost.
We’d rather drive circles all over the town,
Than stop at a store and admit to a clerk
That we’ve made a mistake and we’re all turned around,
So we drive ‘til it drives our whole fam’ly berserk.
Take cars, just for instance, if they blow a rod,
Or something is leaking all over the ground,
We’ll open the hood even though we are clueless.
It makes us feel better and look quite profound.
But you and I both know we haven’t an inkling
What spark plugs and camshafts do. Really, it’s true.
Still, we will look keenly and grunt complex noises
‘Cause that’s what a manly mechanic would do.
When it comes to plumbing, a man’s inclination
Is to bring out the wrenches and hammers and such,
Then bang on the pipes ‘til small leaks become torrents
That flood entire houses. Me kidding? Not much.
But women don’t worry ‘bout dialing professionals
To fix a wee leak, and to not would be dumber
Than big oil conglomerates who try to fix oil spills
With duct tape instead of just calling a plumber.
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Tracy Farr lives in East Texas with his wife, three children and some goats. To read more of his stories, visit his website at http://www.tracyfarr.net.