Caring for Kids

An Accredited Organization of Parents Anonymous ® Inc.

by Imelda Tatsch

Last month we dedicated this space to MOM in honor of MOTHERS DAY…It’s only fair that we do the same for DAD in June.

For many years dads were thought to have two main duties; bring home the money and dish out the punishment. Remember the line “WAIT TILL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME”? I’m sure that line is still being quoted today just maybe not so often. One sad reason is that today we have too many homes without a father.

Statistics show that only about half of the children today live in the home with both of their biological parents. There are many reasons why dad must be away from his children. Some are seen as noble and honorable, working to take care of the family, or serving in the military. Other reasons are seen as deplorable; incarceration, drug and alcohol addiction, or a dad that just chooses not to be there.

In my work I see many dads, some of all of the above. I have been touched deeply by the dads that are earnestly doing all that they can to be a real part of their children’s lives. I have also been disappointed by others that just cannot understand why their ex-wives or girlfriends expect them to pay child support,” for no reason” as they continue to co- create more children with no plan for real involvement in any of their lives. It is always the children that suffer in these situations.

Times are changing though or are they? It is true we see more dads getting involved in school activities, helping with homework, volunteering at the school than we have before. Research tells us that those children whose dads are involved even if in only one activity are far more likely to enjoy school more and excel academically. But there are still too many children without that presence in their lives, and I wondered if that was a new problem until I found this centuries old quote:

One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

Seems this quote called outlandish was onto something....

Here are a few other quotes I found. Some are touching, some will make you laugh, others will tug at your heartstrings.

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. ~Kent Nerburn, Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man, 1994 I have to agree!

Two little girls, on their way home from Sunday school, were solemnly discussing the lesson. "Do you believe there is a devil?" asked one. "No," said the other promptly. "It's like Santa Claus: it's your father." ~Ladies' Home Journal, quoted in 2,715 One-Line Quotations for Speakers, Writers & Raconteurs by Edward F. Murphy :O)

Why are men reluctant to become fathers? They aren't through being children. ~Cindy Garner

This is very true, I know a man who did not want to have children because as he admitted he was not ready to share his wife…

I saved the best for last, for those who are still raising young children or teens. There is hope, just hang in there, soon your children will be old enough to appreciate how much you have grown as a father….

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi" Atlantic Monthly, 1874

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Imelda Tatsch is the Program Director at the Northeast Texas Child Advocacy Center (NETCAC) located in Winnsboro, and her columns appear in their bi-monthly newsletter. In "Caring for Kids" she offers support, insight, and a touch of humor for parents and grandparents. She is a trained facilitator for parenting classes.

She will be happy to answer questions about parenting and family relationships. You can e-mail her with your questions.