CARING FOR KIDS
An Accredited Organization of Parents Anonymous ® Inc.
by Imelda Tatsch
New Year... New Decade….
Remember the flurry of activity focused on Y2K? Well that was now 10 years ago…Where does the time go? One thing is certain it does go and once it is gone you cannot retrieve it. I am not a resolution maker any longer because I fell in line with those that made them and forgot them before February… Good intentions were there, but motivation forgot to come along.
I did however; decide I would like to learn a new word each day.
There is power in words, spoken and unspoken. Words often move us to action or stop us in our tracks, they make us laugh, and make us cry. Words can uplift and tear down.
A study was conducted several years ago that states only 7% of our words really have an affect on our children with 55% being our body language and 38% our facial expression/tone of voice. This seems to take away some of the power of the spoken word until you think about the body language, facial expression and tone of voice that accompanies the words being spoken.
Have you ever noticed the look on a child’s face when they cry out, "look at me, look at me" and an adoring care giver says, I" see you; you are doing a great job."
When that happens, the child’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. You know that child is feeling like he or she can take on the world and they will.
How different it is for children, so proud of their accomplishments when met with, "stop that. I don’t have time to watch every little thing you do. Go play somewhere else and leave me alone."
I can see a child whose whole body will slump and face turn upside down. How soon will he want to try something new and be proud of himself?
Remember the old rhyme "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never harm you?" I think all will agree this is just not true. Once a word is spoken, it is like a bell that has been rung, you can no more take it back and un-say it than you can un-ring a bell.
We hear many words in our media each day and very little is uplifting. Most paint a negative view of life, and yet we choose to repeat them. Those words become our focus, and the more we talk, the more negative words are “out there."
I have learned that what I put my attention to most is what I see and have around me. So while I am learning a new word each day I will also be more aware of the words I already know and use them wisely.
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Imelda Tatsch is the Program Director at the Northeast Texas Child Advocacy Center (NETCAC) located in Winnsboro, and her columns appear in their bi-monthly newsletter. In "Caring for Kids" she offers support, insight, and a touch of humor for parents and grandparents. She is a trained facilitator for parenting classes.
She will be happy to answer questions about parenting and family relationships. You can e-mail her with your questions.