CARING FOR KIDS
An Accredited Organization of Parents Anonymous ® Inc.
by Imelda Tatsch
Down Time…..
We are all familiar with this term, but few get to really experience it… We all need down time to re-group. The problem is we say we don’t have time to take time off. So we click along like this and the days become weeks, months then years. Then one day we find ourselves in the Dr’s office and he’s telling us our body is worn out and that “down time” we were going to take “someday” becomes a prescription or often it comes as a “wake up call”
I chose to write about this because I received an email titled “Space to Explore” which I would like to share. “No one can find his work, what he really wants to put all of himself into; when everything he does he is made to do by others. This kind of searching must be done freely or not at all” John Holt
It goes on to say” We all need space free from demands, deadlines, expectations and judgments-- to explore who we are and what life is all about. Free time with absolutely no agenda, is rich with potential. How can we grow if we have no space and freedom to dream? “
Okay, so what does this have to do with parenting? Thank you for asking…
It has everything to do with being the very best person you can be and isn’t that what our children deserve? How can we take the best care of our children if we have not first taken care of ourselves? We cannot give what we do not have. If we are considerably stressed on a daily basis how can you give the deserved time and attention to each child?
While we are on the subject of children lets think about how much we are putting on them. How many extra curricular activities do children really need to be involved in? Do they not get enough stress from school every day? I think a child being involved in dance or sports etc. is wonderful for structure, character building, social development and so on, but maybe only one extra activity per semester would be enough. Sometimes kids need time to just “BE”, to figure out what they like or want. Not to mention the added stress it puts on the parents taking them from game to game and lesson to lesson. When the parents are stressed the kids are stressed and the cycle goes on and on……whew I need to take a breath just thinking about it…
Here is one final quote from the above mentioned email article. “Deny children – or anyone else – the chance to do “nothing” and we may be denying them the chance to do “something”—to find and do any work that is truly important to themselves or to someone else. John Holt I think what Mr. Holt is saying here is when you give kids a chance to just have free time with no demands placed on them and they will usually get very creative. We know that nothing in our world would be without first being a thought. So what wondrous thing might we allow by taking and giving everyone a little “down time”
The following was taken from momshomeroom.com a great source for parent information.
12 Warning Signs That Your Child May Be Overscheduled
By Martha Brockenbrough
There may not be “right “ number of activities for every child, but ask yourself these questions to check if your child is getting enough downtime.
* Does he act grouchy, mopey or irritable?
* Can she fall asleep at bedtime?
* Are his grades slipping? Does he finish his homework?
* Has she started overeating
* Does he zone out in front of the TV?
* Is she complaining of stomachaches, headaches, or mysterious illnesses?
* Does he grumble about being bored
* Is she overanxious about getting approval from authority figures?
* When you’re heading out the door, does he throw a tantrum, or “lose” equipment?
* Does she pick fights with siblings or complain you don’t love her as much?
* Can he keep track of where he’s supposed to be?
* Is her schedule draining you or your family members?
If your child exhibits a few of these behaviors on an ongoing basis, you may want to re-examine their after school schedule.
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Imelda Tatsch is the Program Director at the Northeast Texas Child Advocacy Center (NETCAC) located in Winnsboro, and her columns appear in their bi-monthly newsletter. In "Caring for Kids" she offers support, insight, and a touch of humor for parents and grandparents. She is a trained facilitator for parenting classes.
She will be happy to answer questions about parenting and family relationships. You can e-mail her with your questions.